Big Girls Don’t Shop
I fucking hate shopping. I hate it more than ever now that I’m a large woman, but even as a slender young lady (HAHAHAHAHA…I said “lady”), I never enjoyed it. Why? Because I am tall.
Tall girl problems include:
1) Empire waists are really nipple straps
2) Regular waists are really empire waists
3) Sweater dresses are actually tunics
4) Tights. Or “crotch-knees” as I like to call them
5) Nothing “tailored” fits off the rack
6) SHOES. Tall woman = big feet = sneering shoe salespeople
Since my teens, I have worn a 10-11 American size women’s shoe. I wore a lot of men’s sneakers and work/winter boots. After my pregnancy, my feet are firmly in the 11 camp because feet grow when you’re pregnant and never ever go back which is FINE if you’re only a size 6.
Now, if I want to find a shoe or boot that resembles something feminine my options are Payless (bless them) or online.
I went to several stores looking for a pair of winter boots two weeks ago, and not only did they not have the boot I wanted in my size, most didn’t carry my size at all. Navigating crowded stores with snotty salespeople, hot, sweaty, toddler in tow, yogurt and peanut butter encrusted winter jacket, was already a recipe for a meltdown (mine). Having to trudge to 10 stores over two days only to be to be turned away with silent mocking mixed occasionally with pity made me want to binge eat/drink/smoke/freebase. I live in one of Canada’s MAJOR cities. This should have been easier. Finally, I found a store that didn’t have my size in stock, but they could order it for me. I HATE commitment, sight unseen. I hate spending money (because I am intolerably cheap and always have buyers remorse). I hate not being able to try shoes on before I buy them. It’s stupid and dumb and I don’t wanna. But I did. The boots came, and like I had feared, they were not an amazing fit. But they’re warm, water proof, and comfortable enough. The best part…
I don’t have to go winter boot shopping for several more years.
Sadly, I have bras that need replacing. Do not get me started….