Breaking up with Awesome.
I can be a bit of a grammar snob, but I’m not a saint. I take pride in my command of the English language, yet I’m no stranger to tpyos, spellcheck, and ellipsis overuse…
Sentence fragments. Also a favourite of mine. I think the Oxford comma is logical, important, and underused. I love the bejesus out of slang. Even the occasional mixed metaphor proves mightier than the writing on the wall.
I do, however, get a little obsessive when I catch myself overusing a word. A great example would be “fuck” since it can replace any ingredient in any grammar recipe. It goes with fucking everything. The word I’ve been beating with a dead horse, however, is “awesome”. No, that’s the word, not a description.
I treasure awesome. It too, is fairly versatile. How was your day? Awesome. Your face is awesome. That was awesome dipped in awesomesauce. Awesome is awesome. BUT, the time has come for me to take some space from awesome. I know, that as useful and convenient as it may be, I say “awesome” when I really mean wonderful, astounding, touching, chocolate, terrible, terrific, hooray, husband, stellar, or outstanding. I’m in a codependent relationship, and it has to stop.
Therefore, as of today, awesome and I are THROUGH. We won’t go to dinner or to parties together. No more late night conversations or love letters. I won’t take awesome to meet the family. It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but I just need to see other words and explore my options. We can still be friends.
I suspect that during the difficult but necessary separation, I will find solace in ice cream and thesauri. I will need to remind myself daily, perhaps hourly, that I don’t need awesome. That I can, in fact, get along just fine without it. I am woman, hear me synonymize.
Please folks, I need your support and understanding. If it looks like I’m ready to run back into awesome’s arms, stage an intervention. I’d like to meet other adjectives and slang. So if you know of any, send them my way. Y’all are phenomenal.
It’s a work in progress.
The Ringmistress,
May I suggest “magnificent”?
Your awesome husband,
Le Clown
I think you own the copyright on that one. Besides, I’m looking for words that are not overused in our house.
The Ringmistress,
Ah… So I guess “no”, “mine”, “suce” and “mine milk” are all out…
Le Clown
ha ha!
Believe it or not, I was just about to say this! Damn you!
How about phenomenal? However, personally, I do not believe you should ever part with the word awesomesauce. I plan on being ninety-something, possibly on my deathbed, and still using the word “awesomesauce”.
I feel like you would rock the bojangles out of that word when the time comes.
Yeah, I think that word does get overused, by everybody. I mean, were you really in AWE of your fries? Well, I guess if they’re covered in gravy and cheese, maybe you are, but that’s besides the point. Good for you to search out synonyms. I think this is something I need to do too.
Poutine is tremendous.
Sara — we ALL do this. How about efflorescent or empyreal? I don’t want to be a sycophant, but I really dig your writing. :D
Empyreal?! Wow, that’s a beautiful word that I did no know. Thank you. And thank you again.
It’s a….wonderment….
Submitted by Awesomely Nice Jots…
Spectacular as always, Jots.
Awesome post, Sara.
I say “awesome” all the time. I say it because I mean it, and I say it when I’m being sarcastic. I also say “fantastic” a lot. I will stop using neither.
Fantastically Awesome Meizac
It’s important to stand your ground in this wobbly world. You are Fantasomely Awetastic.
I love awesome… there is no way I could ever break up with it…. just like my ellipses or my honestly, seriously sarcastic nonsense…
on a side note, as a child I once asked my dad if he had a thesaurus I could borrow…. he asked me if that was some sort of dinosaur….eep!
PANTS ON FIRE!
I SOOOOO wish I made that last bit up…. but I totally didn’t.
Your post is stupendous. I’m also a bit of an awesome fiend but I have started a 12 step programme. As a bit of a grammar snob myself I love your first paragraph
I’m glad you can appreciate. I had a hoot writing it. I might need that 12 step intervention too.
You are a brave one. I could never stop using “awesome.” I wouldn’t know how to describe myself without it.
And if you must, go with “stupefying.” I feel like it’s often neglected.
Indeed, you have inspired the awe in me with that clever quip. Stupefying is very good. Different that “stupid flying” which is what June bugs do.
You need a 15-year-old son to keep you in line. If I said the word ‘awesome,’ my teenager would never let me forget it. On the other hand, you might want to try ‘sweet’ or ‘sick,’ because cool things nowadays are either sweet or sick. But honestly, I’m not sure how long ‘sweet’ is going to stick around. That one’s getting a little tired.
By the way, I enjoy a nice sentence fragment or two myself. Can really add some drama to a paragraph. :)
Being a writer means never having to say you’re sorry. Creative license with the words and the sentence making are perks of the job.
DRAMADRAMADRAMA!!!
Loving your writing!! Always looking for new words and words to avoid. Thanks for the heads up on this one.
Now I feel like I’ve done some kind of public service. Outstanding!
Wow Awesome is really getting around. I have been going out with Awesome too. Hmmm LOL I like Splendid, delightful, fantabulous. :) Guess Awesome’s been busted!
Awesome is a bit slutty. Not that that’s a bad thing.
I’ve been in such a long-term relationship with awesome that it doesn’t feel right to let it go. I’m too old to search for a newer, younger slang term.
That’s how I feel too. Raising my fist in awesome solidarity with you, calahan.
Traitor.
An AWESOME traitor.
I wish you a both a long and happy marriage. Keeping the awesome magic alive.
Ack! And here I just called everyone in the world awesome yesterday. But as I was writing it a gazillion times over the other day I realized that I need better superlatives.
You could always go with “nice”, or if you’re feeling really crazy “really nice.”
Are you making crazy jokes now?
I remember “nice” and “really nice” were favorites of my English profs. :D
Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with other people swinging awesome around, making sweet verbal love to it, or whatever
Superlative is a lovely word…
Thank you for this. I feel the same way and I’m trying to break up with it myself. And “awesomesauce” actually makes me feel nauseous, but it’s too graphic, if you know what I mean (I don’t know what I mean). Sorry to anyone who uses it. My kids say “sick”. I like to use the word “hella” before other adjectives just to annoy my kids. There’s also “boss”, “rad” (that’s gonna make you sound old), groovy (I say this), coolio…um, what else?
Fuckballs. That one’s my favorite.
Pissgonads!
Now that’s impressive. I can’t take credit for fuckballs. That was Speaker 7 genius.
I love boss. I like to toss it out there. Toss the boss. Ooooh yeeeaaaah. Rad is another fave. I like to screw with the kids and use it front their friends. I haven’t heard collio in some time. Radboss.
Awesome does get overused. That being said, my bro has a sarcastic way of saying it that I wish I could translate into written words. I have a few phrases of my own that I tend to fall back on.
Some options for awesome are food words delish, succulent, or lush.
SUCCULENT! Luuuussshshshshshsh. I am incorporating those into my life….now.
I will support you in your quest for an awesome-free existence. I will take all of your awesomes and use them myself so they don’t go to waste. I think I have a pretty good vocabulary and command of the English language myself, but I love that word. I can’t help it. I employ other adjectives as well, but I’m not giving up my awesome. No ma’am.
Crap, you’re right, it is a great word. Wizard!
WIZARD! That’s definitely made the cut.
I’m glad my little awesomes will have a good home. I plan to still be friends with awesome. We may even hang out sometime. I need to heal first.
I understand. Sometimes you need to take time away before you can comfortably enter a new phase of a relationship. They’ll always care for you, you know. And I’m here for you.
Hahaha, you should still use awesome for chocolate, ’cause it is.
If there ever were a thing that inspired awe in me, that would be it.
Ok so your first paragraph is genius. Loved the rest too. Personally, I like ‘fabulous’ and the very silly ‘amazeballs’.
Lisa,
Wasn’t she clever in paragraph #1?
Le Clown
Le Clown,
You are somewhat biased, you lovesick goof. You are partially correct. She was clever during the entire thing. Just thought I’d break into the comment even though it’s not addressed to me. Hi.
Alice
You win my heart.
Totes.
OOhh, I forgot about amazeballs. How about Awsballs? Or saucyballs! Balls.
Ooooh I love saucyballs! Wait…that didn’t come out right.
Ever see the SNL skit Schweaty Balls? With Alec Baldwin. Hilar.
I will now….
Grab some “Exceptional!” and “Phenomenal”
I love grammar and used to love diagramming in 8th grade typing English (stupid combo of classes, eh?) ….
My husband and I had an arguement about the Oxford (or serial or cereal hee hee) comma… I love, encourage, and participate in the overuse of punctuation. It’s COPULATING PHENOMENAL, and I’d also like to add, along with apostitives.
Today I learned that awesome can be interchangeable with chocolate. I am going to eat a ton of awesome tonight. This was a chocolate post!
PUT THE AWESOME IN YOUR MOUTH!
I absolutely just LOST IT. I think I love you now. Congrats!
Good luck. I’ve been struggling with overusing the word struggling. As is the case with awesome, there is nothing else that seems to have the same variety of meanings. I also totally overuse beautiful about photos I like, and am starting to head there with gorgeous and stunning. It’s tough to stay out of the word rut!
You have a special challenge with the photo thing. Try blending words. stunneous! Gorgiful!
Like, I mean, you are like totally right. I mean, ya know?
ermergerd, right!?
I so know.
I love the word awesome, but I’m afraid I use it too much as well. I’ve been trying to convince my friends to bring back bitchin’. That was always fun to say when I meant awesome.
Time for a revival. Reminds me of Bill and Ted. Excellent might have to accompany it.
I need to break up with awesome too, not to mention fantastic. Also, I love the word “awesomesauce” but I kind of hate myself whenever I say it.
I feel your pain. Let’s make a new sauce.
The base will be wine. A lot of it.
Jazzlesauce?
Seriously, I would be such an enabler. I’d taunt you with my overuse of awesome and before you’d know it you’d be saying it all day long. We’ll have to detach with love. No way, I couldn’t quit you!
If enabling means having you in my life, enable me, baby.
AW………….SOME!
this is aw… er terrific
YOU are aw… badass.
Awesome post. Fuck.
You could go all 80′s and bring back “killer” and “wicked”.
There’s always groovy, or fucktabulous.
Spectacular.
I love awesome though, because it’s fucking awesome, and I want to dry hump it all day long.
Love,
Tracy
Don’t forget Wizard. It is totally wizard to dry hump a thesaurus.
Bitchin’.
Assholin’
Rad
SNAZZLE MY VAJAZZLE
You made me think about how often I use a specific word, awesome, curiously enough is not something I often say.
There’s nothing wrong with being a grammar snob, I wish my english was impecable but it isn’t, I have some issues, I cannot see the mistakes I make until hours later, but I like my typos, I own them :)
And I agree with you this little thing (,) makes no sense, I don’t know how to use it properly.
WITH the Oxford Comma you can say “We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin”.
WITHOUT the Oxford comma, “We invited the strippers, JFK and STalin”.
JFK and stalin were not stippers. AT least not for money.
I made lots of typos and left them because you are inspiring.
JFK and Stalin were the inspiration for that movie Magic Mike then-.
Tubular post. I am a pretty serious grammar snob too. Is the Oxford comma where you use it after the last item and before ‘and’ in a list? I love that use of comma. I teach it EVERY year no matter how old or young my students are!! My biggest grammar elephant in my writing is run-on sentences. Gah!
Run on sentences are the only exercise I get. And you nailed the Oxford comma. All the most excellent people appreciate it.
I overuse “awesome” as well – I blame it on the 80s. I have found “epic” to be an adequate replacement – I have yet to find an awesome one:)
How about Epsome? Wait, that’s salt. Salty!
This post was totally epsome….not feeling it, maybe it’ll grow on me. Toothsome?
As long as we don’t get to tiresome or crapsome.
Crapsome is not very awesome
crap inspiring…I hear you have a closet that fits that description.
LOL – indeed I do have a crapsome closet. It’s only crapsome if a toddler is present.
Yes, awesome is the new tiresome. It definitely needs to go! Here’s some strange slang for your collection. It comes from a co-worker who has seen something gross: “Dont do that- that’s disgustor!”
Congrats on a post that is definitely not disgustor!
I like disgustor. And the possibility of all the spin offs. Grossinating! Yuckery!
Thanks for the inspirations.
OMG, laughed so hard at this. I was an English major, yet my grammar has much to be desired. My profs realized I could write coherent sentences and they were relieved, so I got away with a lot of crap. That’s my word du jour. Crap. I use it a crappin’ lot. But fuck is very nice too. Actually fuck is awesome.
You’re a goddamned poet, you. Crap does need some life breathed into it. You’re fighting the good fight.
Exquisite. xoxoM
Yes, you are.
Takes one to know one, darling! xoM
I use awesome all of the time…I just can’t quit it. Mad props for kickin’ the bad habit.
I could never weild the word as masterfully and funnily as you, J dog. That’s the real reason I must move on. Awesome chose you.
This from the urban dictionary (I paste now): The American vocabulary consists of just three words: Omygod, awesome and shit. Or (I paste): Awesome: Something Americans use to describe everything. Now that your a sophisticated Canadian, yeah, it’s got to go. But, you know, those are the only words I use.
I can’t believe you pasted all of that just for me!
Ohmyaweshit!
Hey!!! There’s an excellent one right there…onmyaweshit! But awesomesauce…that is truly the shit! Ohmygod!
craptastic and splendifereous have my vote… awesome is a tough one to cut off. Good luck and stay strong
jonesing pretty hard today. Thanks.
Hi, hope you don’t mind me dropping in with a random comment. :)
I too can be guilty of overusing a word, and have been guilty of this with “awesome” before. I have also overused “fantastic” to the point that I think if I use it again someone may kill me. My worst offence, however, is in speech: I have this terrible habit of saying “okay” at the end of most of my sentences which I can’t seem to break.
As a replacement word for awesome, might I suggest “amazing” – but said a-MAIZE-ing (as a gentle nod to one of my favourite films – Grown Ups). :)
I know the fear of death of which you speak. I have a tendency to use the same catch phrase over and over until even I cringe when it slips from my lips.
Amazing (or a-MAIZE-ing) will definitely make an appearance now.
You are always welcome to drop in. Besides, if you really do know karate, I feel like I shouldn’t say no.
I, too, find myself using “awesome” a little too often lately, but since I almost never used it during the 80s, I think I have a few hundred leftover “awesomes” to use up. I applaud your determination to find new adjectives to exclaim. May I suggest watching an episode or two of “Adventure Time”? They have some really, if you’ll pardon my language, awesome adjectives.
YOU READ MY MIND!!!
I am deeply addicted to that show, and LOVE their expressions. Mathmatical!
In fact, every time I think of a new one, I’m realize I’m just stealing their schtick.
Oh my glob. What the butt!
This blog is absolutely phantasmagorical!
I heart you for that one. It’s 17 words in one. A layered portmanteau?
My favorite of them all :)
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Love your blog…love your husband’s blog (I’m part of the 98%)…you guys make a great Fuckin couple! Whoops, sorry didn’t mean to pour SUGAR down your throat…
A fuckful of sugar helps the blogging go down (?)
Nicetomeetchya, asklotta.
Watch out for withdrawal symptoms such as sudden irritability, flashes of anger, and separation anxiety! If ever you have a couple glasses of wine and find yourself stumbling around with your cellphone, about to make that drunken-text-message to your ex (I won’t even mention it’s name!), STOP! Remind yourself that it is a toxic relationship and consider contacting your local support group. If there aren’t any….start one of your own. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
You are wise. Do you want to be my sponsor? Is there 12 steps I should be taking?
Sure! I’ll get back to you on those 12 steps :P
Let’s see… You’ve also got fantastic, fabulous, or even fantabulous, amazing, delicious (if describing food), delectable, incredible and now my mind has drawn a blank!
Enjoy canoodling with your thesaurus.
Delectable…mmmm….
Canoodle could also work, if just for the absurdity of it.
That’s Canoodle!!
I’m suddenly reminded of Michael McIntyre on the use of words to describe getting drunk – “I got so trollied” being an example; he then went on to say well, in that case, why not say “I was so gazebo’d last night”…
I know, sister; my head raises the same concerns.
The post is fucking awesome.
(y)
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How’s the breakup going?
Very well, actually, but I really do need to explore my options more. I’m already tired of terrific and outstanding. Awesome sure set the bar high. It may have ruined me for other words.
That’s so sad! Don’t give up hope. I recently realized that I use the word “Excellent” far too often at work. I’m a waitress so I’m constantly asking “How’s everything here? (wait for good response)….Excellent!”
Next time throw out “Excelsior” and see if anyone notices or applauds.
Hah! Are you going to just kinda say it casually or with the whole “triumphant sounding” voice?
I’ll let you take the reins on this one. Report back.