How to Properly Use a Colon
When smart and funny women get together, a few things happen:
1) People laugh in a mirthful way
2) Rush Limbaugh gets confused and scared
3) A rash of posts about poop unfurl.
In answer to Sweet Mother’s challenge, I hereby claim my place as a “reggie” (short for regular). I stalk visit her blog nearly every day, which is more often than I feed my cats or children, so that says a lot. She’s gonna blogroll her regulars so long as they illustrate, by way of photographic evidence, how they stay regular. Are you still with me? It’s wordplay of the highest caliber, people. She also promised to say nice things about those who participate, which caters to both my ego and my desperate need for approval. There’s been some hard acts to follow (like this gem from Jen and Tonic and Le Clown’s epic McBowel movement), but without further ado, I present “Colon Corona”.
Many thanks to Sweet Mother for the project, and to Jen and Tonic for the kick in my arse I needed to unblock…er..loosen…um…flush out…my personal contribution. Your blogs are the shit!
whoa….
HOLY CRAP! (Had to get a pun in)
A few things:
(1) Why is Vaseline in this picture? Is that a more manual form of cleansing?
(2) Stacie Chadwick, if you’re reading this, you’re going to have a REALLY hard time topping the people who’ve participated in this challenge. Sara just raised the bar to a ridiculous level.
(3) Marry me?
You are so damn awesome, I can’t even begin to tell you.
Vaseline is a toddler thing. Do you really want details?
I can’t marry you as I’m already hitched to Le Clown, but maybe we can change our Facebook relationship to “it’s complicated”.
p.s. NO! YOU’RE awesome.
Oh my god. Lawd lawd lawd in heaven. I’m grinning from ear to ear. I just passed the phone to wifesy so she could see this incredible vision for herself. We had the most fun five mins going…wait what is that ? Is that a suppository ???? I don’t even know how to spell it, but i know that this image sincerely made my day. Made my evening. Maybe I need to get a life, but just now this post made me gleefully gleefully nuts like a madhatter on speed. I’m not kidding ! Thank u for this joyous joyous event and i cant wait to do ur profile ! Xo mother
And I also second everything Jen said. Lol.
Making your day makes my day.
I should have added coffee….please imagine coffee in there. I had a hoot making this, and you are my poop muse.
Sara, you are an Angel. ♥
And I third everything veggie just said !
♥
Ha HA! And you are a FUNNY WOMAN! See? They’re everywhere…
mucho amore, VW.
Funny womyn are the best!
Right on sistah!
así es sistah!
I meant smart and funny womyn are THA BEST! (damn brain)
Them too! Welcome to the club. We are many here.
Wait, I didn’t register!
I think I’m mostly funny when I’m not trying to be. *sigh*
You forgot body wash
I seem to have built up a tolerance to body wash. It doesn’t cleanse my colon the way it used to.
you have to get the really purfumy kind
I knew I was doing something wrong.
You have methods for regularity that are unfamiliar to me. Like seriously, I don’t know what those things are! At least you have proper dietary fiber going on there. ;-)
Vaseline, though?!?
Also, OMG, BRILLIANT!!!
Yeah, the vaseline, in my PG version of events, is a toddler thing.
Do you thing I’ll get asked as an expert to the Smithsonian?
For fiber she could’ve also added a lot of green. ;) I don’t know what half those things are either. I feel kinda ignant
I can make a diagram!
Please do! :)
I mistakenly thought this was going to be all grammatical, and I thought, “how in the world is she going to write a post of her regular (shush!) calibre about a friggin’ colon?”
And, there you have it.
I’m just hunting for a freshly pressed mention with that title.
And trying to lure unsuspecting grammarians into my poop trap.
Well done.
Hey, this is one funny post! Oh, and Mexican water works well too. Or too well. Believe me, I know.
HOO-WEE! Don’t I know it.
Love it! And exactly how regular are we talking about? My saltines and Velveeta habit has kept me regular for years – once a week regular whether I need it or not. Smiling thinking about how much fun you must of had doing this!
You might have stumbled on the next big thing. “The Velveeta and Saltine Diet: How Non-Foods Can Help You”. You can bet I’ll be the first in line for a signing.
And yes, it was fun. Perhaps I never got past my anal stage as a child.
This was much better and more useful than a grammar lesson. Thank you.
Right? In the grand scheme of things, or after the nuclear/zombie/outbreak apocalypse, grammar will not be as essential as bum health.
Please don’t tell Son 1. He lives to correct other people’s grammar. I can’t wait for him to take such an interest in grooming. The days of smelling like a goat are starting to wear on me, even though I, too, am a teen-age boy at the moment.
Does this mean you also smell like a goat? Or is it more of a terrible haircut paired with terrible fashion sense and topped off with terrible taste in music? Or maybe you just spend A LOT of time in the bathroom?
It’s a scientific fact that boys smell like goats from the age of 9 until they discover sex and the fact that other people don’t like to get it on with someone who reeks.
However, Son 1 and both have crazy hair. He hasn’t had a haircut in a year and strangers stop him and say, “Slash, I loved your work in Guns ‘n’ Roses.” Mine is more in the absent-minded professor territory.
So long as you take pictures so you can show friends and prom dates…
Mommy-Daddy’s Big Book of Embarrassing Nakey Butt Diaper Change and Awkward Teenage Phase Photos.